KARMA.

Karma. Something I have believed in for many years and have been thinking about a lot lately. Karma is not a religion, not a belief that some deity is pleased or displeased by your actions. It isn’t about praying for forgiveness or praying for assistance.Karma in my mind is down to choices. Making the best or right choice based on your ethical and moral view of life. I believe we should do the best to help others and to look after this precious planet that is our home and indeed all life upon it.

I believe that we do make the wrong choices sometimes and poor decisions will often lead to tears and regret at a later time.That is Karma in its simplest form. But we do not pray for some made up god’s forgiveness. Rather we must find it within us to forgive ourselves and others. We do not need to visit some priests cubicle to seek penance but rather our penance should be in seeking to repair the bad decision or if that isn’t possible then choosing a way to atone for that mistake. And Karma will reward us with the knowing that we got it right the second time. Our reward will not be in heaven but in our own mind and the effect we have had on others.

And we must remember that we are all a part of this planet. And Karma is already paying us back for the way we have abused our world. The rich of the world have abused and raped this planet for personal gain. Whether it has been leaving great swathes of the planet uninhabitable by man’s ever growing need for cheap energy and minerals. Whether it is the ruthless exploitation of the weak and poor of the world to turn out cheaper goods for the masses and greater wealth for the few. Whether it is the pumping out of poisonous, noxious gases or pesticides.In so many ways are we destroying our own home. And for what purpose?

The purpose is for the obscene wealth of just a few at the expense of the rest of us. Yes we may benefit from the latest super fast technology, the latest fashionable clothing brands but Karma will eventually seek a reckoning. It is already happening with the poisoning of the whole ecosystem. With air that is so unbreathable in places that the old and the sick and the very young are suffering. With watercourses and oceans so polluted that whole species are dying out. And even people are being poisoned by their own drinking water. That is Karma. That is the repayment for our destruction of this planet for sheer greed.

But what can we do? As I said before. Karma is about choices. We must make the right choices. We must put people in power that care about our planet. We must make greener personal choices. We must redistribute the obscene wealth of the few, if necessary by punitive taxation upon them. Even small changes to the way we live can make enormous changes when multiplied a million fold if we all make those changes.

Walk to the shops occasionally instead of taking the car. Buy smaller more environmentally friendly vehicles or use public transport. Even taking your own bag to the store or buying unpackaged foods can make a noticeable difference. And Karma will repay us all eventually with clean air, clean water, clean pesticide free food. A healthier happier life for all of us.

Simple really isn’t it. Just make wiser choices. Vote for a party that will start to put things right. Care for others. Care for ourselves. And remember Karma.

Truth becomes a lie.

He walked slowly, not even noticing

Lightning bugs, distant flashes of lightning

He smelled the warm humid June night

Humidity forced sweat from his body

You could almost squeeze it out

Like rancid water from a sponge

But he walked

He hadn’t noticed … or hadn’t cared as love walked out the door

… and loneliness crept through another

He scowled … it hadn’t even knocked

Just crept in like a thief in the night

… so quiet, catlike stealth, breath of despair

And he didn’t care. He laughed… but not convincingly

But he really didn’t care

A whole world had exploded … had disintegrated

As he had walked away

But he tried to just recall the bad times

The hurt, the daggers of steel, the words, the actions

… they all wounded

… they all stifled , they all drained his life blood

But maybe the good times hurt him more

Those promises unmeant.

Endearments that became hollow, meaningless.

Loving words that now meant nothing, merely taunted his soul.

But he walked on into that unknowing night

Crickets sang their repetitive song as the moon watched

It sat low on the horizon, orange baleful glare

He glared back.

Ha!

I don’t care, I will be me, I will grab this pain I feel

I will not feel grief … I will be happy alone

For a while … just a short while

The pain cannot last but he would embrace it

… taste it’s bloody bitter sweetness

… savour its icy grip on his heart

Knowing that it all meant nothing now

Truth had become lies,

And the road became quiet as he walked on

Disappeared into the distance

StanMRogers. Copyright 2017

ALONE IN A GRAVEYARD.

Yesterday we had beautiful weather. So warm and sunny for this time of year. It was the kind of day that only comes at this time of year in early spring. The sky was a beautiful cloudless blue after the early morning mist had burned away. The sun shone down lending such clarity to the green and blossoming country side around here.

I decided to fly my drone and as usual I drove around locally looking for picturesque country churches. They are quiet and I can get great video by flying right to the tops of the church towers. I also look for ones with plenty of open space around them. Too many trees can be an obstacle to a novice drone pilot.

My first port of call turned out to be St Mary’s Church in Shudy Camps, a small village on the border of Cambridgeshire and Essex. It was a beautiful peaceful place but unfortunately not suitable for a novice drone pilot owing to the proximity of trees and homes, but the day was so beautiful that I stayed a while. I wandered around the graveyard reading the gravestones. One in particular stood out. I found a peaceful bench in the churchyard and sat down to think a while as the spring birdsong surrounded me.

Is this all that life leads to? A six-foot plot under the shade of a willow tree in a small country graveyard. Is everything we have done in life, all our feelings, all of our spirit doomed to lay rotting here? I am not a religious person but even so I do not discount some kind of afterlife. Who knows until someone comes back to tell us.

But this? Is this all there is? Is all of our life just one monumental waste of time? The search for wealth or at least avoiding poverty? How can we even search for love when we know it will all just lead to separation, death and after a few short decades we will be forgotten by most people. After a generation or two no one will remember us at all. Oh yes, some lonely old fool will wander by one day and read our epitaph and maybe wonder about who we were, but he won’t know me. He will not know of the life I led; the struggles I had, the loves I had and the great love I lost. He will know nothing of me.

I am recently separated, just a matter of a couple of months but already I feel the mind-numbing loneliness of isolation creeping into my life and so I have no one any more to share these thoughts with, to talk about whether life is worth bothering about any more. Even the quest for new love, such a monumental task, now seems utterly pointless to me. Just fall in love one last time? See it destined to end in despair and self-loathing again? I have always considered myself as some modern version of Jude Fawley and I seem doomed to make his same mistakes.

But is life pointless? If so why are we born? Just some evolutionary need to continue the species? And how much good has that done us? We have evolved so much that we seek to destroy this world and each other. Love and kindness have given way to greed and war. Is that evolution? I think evolution is dumb if it is.

 And slowly I hear the birds singing again. I feel the warmth of this early spring sun on my face as I snap out of this cold dark reverie. I walk back out towards the road, stopping briefly to acknowledge my long-deceased friend before leaving him to rest in final peace. I have a drone to fly, I have things to look for. I have a life to live.

 

© 2017 Stan M Rogers. All rights reserved.

 

 

 

Sweet Morning.

Sweet mornings sunrise

Touching my soul

Rebirth, hope again

Dark night is destroyed within me as I rise again

That black shadow of despair is lifting

The grasping claw around my mind

I feel it’s steely grip relax

I know it will be my battle, my quest to fight its death grip

But I fight with small things.

A smile here, an inner strength to nurture my dreams

And small things will win

I will win

I will be me again

Restored, reborn, renewed

I will be free.
Copyright Stan M Rogers 2017

WRITERS BLOCK.

After recent big changes in my life I need to write again but I am finding it so hard.The words are in me but I just cannot get them down on to the page. Even to open one of my unfinished works is hard.

I find myself just putting it off. Procrastination at its worst. Just finish this email and I’ll get onto it. Just clean this sink and I’ll be on the case. Just a quick sandwich and I will astonish the writing world with my new tome … But I don’t. My pages remain blank. My works in progress get staler and stalled.

It’s not that I don’t have the words, the ideas, the plots but they go no further than my mind.

I hate this.

A blank white page stares back at me

It mocks me, it scares me

So so many words … so many emotions in me

Struggling to find transition to print.

My biggest fear is to begin … to fail abysmally before I even start.

And with that awful fear I feel those beautiful thoughts trickle away

… to nothingness. To heartbreaking waste

Sometimes a few dry bones of creation flutter around still

But my mind fails to grasp them. They wither away to oblivion …

… and the page is still forever blank.

 

© 2017 Stan M Rogers. All rights reserved.

LOVE CAN BE PAIN.

The end of a relationship? Ours finished just three weeks ago. What a mix of emotions I have felt in those three long, long weeks.

It is I find now so very hard to take in. I thought our love was for life. We were there for each other through life’s journey. We had each other’s backs. I was with the person I loved with all my heart and despite the many pitfalls that we suffered and there were many, within and outside of our marriage we got through. My love for her was never diminished.

And now? Well … nothing. I feel such an enormous chasm of gloom and despondency opening up before me. All of what I thought of were certainties are gone. From having a lover, a friend and confidante to having… well, no-one. I compare my feeling to mourning. I feel as if I have lost a part of my own self.

Yes, we have spent time apart over the past year or two due to my mother’s illnesses. It was hard being apart but always I knew I would return to my soulmate. We talked every day by phone or message and those brief instances of connection helped keep us strong. But now? Nothing… nada.

But three short/long weeks ago I left after a bad argument. I was happy at that time. It was over … I was free. I could get on with life back in the UK. And so I left. It felt at the time like escaping from prison. But I exchanged one prison for a far worse one. And this prison comes with solitary confinement. I do not think I have ever felt such loneliness and dismay.

And so after just three weeks how do I feel? Well I know our marriage is over. I yearn to be back with my baby but I know it would just end in more heartache, for her and me. I don’t believe it would be possible to rekindle what we had before. So there you have it. I love her with all my heart but I have to accept. I have to move on and damn it is hard. So hard it hurts. But that is the way it is. Escape from love. Escape to misery. I will just have to adapt.

 

© 2016 Stan M Rogers. All rights reserved.

THE DEARTH OF ENGLISH FOOTBALL.

 

WE ACTUALLY EXPECT THEM TO LOSE.

Yes you read that right. Dearth not death, although I suppose some might say that English football if not actually dead is pretty close to having the vicar arrive to read it the last rites.

By dearth I mean English football. I don’t believe I am saying anything you haven’t already heard about too many foreign players in our top teams. But the Bosman Ruling back in 1995 which amongst other things did away with the previous status quo of allowing only 3 foreign players to play in a side at any one time is now blamed for this situation. But is it to blame?

I have been following English football since the heady days of us winning the World Cup back in 1966 ( I was a mere 12 year old sprog at the time) and apart from that win I do not remember any golden age of English football being killed off because of the Bosman Ruling.

I do remember so many World Cups and European Cups between 1966 and 1995 and even to this 2014 tournament being full of disappointment and woe, so how can too many foreign players in the top level English clubs be the sole reason?

I have heard all the arguments and they always resurface after these tournaments. We need a new manager who must be British/Foreign/Young/Old blah blah blah. But what happens when we get the Sven Goran Erikssons, the Fabio Capellos. The Terry Venables and Glenn Hoddles? The disaster that was Graham Taylor? The answer of course is the same. All quality managers but we still get the same heartbreak and the same disappointments. Over and over again. It has got to the stage now where I just know what will happen in these competitions. I should know by now that England will disappoint and be home early.

The other suggested remedy for our ills is the other cliché. We need new young blood in the side. We’ve done that. Or the other side of the coin when that fails. We need more experienced players in the side … same result.

Is it that English players are just rubbish? How can we say that after some of the players we have produced? The Bobby Moores and Geoff Hursts right up to Stuart Pearce, Alan Shearer, Gary Lineker, David Beckham to name just a few. All world class players. There are many more. Even now Wayne Rooney is a class player although seemingly not for England and also Steven Gerard. It seems we do have great players who just under perform for the national side.

WERE THESE PLAYERS FROM 1966 BETTER THAN TODAY’S PLAYERS?

Perhaps foreign players have more flair, more panache, even more love of the game? A valid point maybe particularly if you look at the Brazilians and Italians. I was going to class Spain as one of these teams but it seems that they often suffer the same fate as England in these tournaments (I am of course excepting their triumph in the last World Cup) But with all of these top foreign managers and players in the English Premiership surely we should expect some of that to rub off onto our home grown players?

So what is the answer then? I am sure better footballing minds than mine are just as baffled so answers on the back of a postcard please …

IS THE BULLDOG SPIRIT DEAD. WAS IT EVER ALIVE?

© 2014 Stan M Rogers. All rights reserved.

 

 

SHOULD WE ABOLISH POLITICS?

Why do we still not accept this?

I occasionally put the odd political joke or comment up on Facebook and was pulled up on it last week by a friend suggesting it might be better to put political commentary on a more relevant site. (Are there any?) Should we apply the same rule for ‘sports’ comments ‘religious’ or even pet comments? Should we ban Kitty pictures?

I am actually not political in the least. Republican or Democrat, Labour or Conservative. They are all the same to me. It is the greed and self-serving self-aggrandizement of politicians that offends me. We do not actually have Democracy in most western societies. We usually have the same old career politicians taking turns every few years to get their snouts in the trough. That is why I no longer vote. These politicians are there as a career not to better your lot.

As true now as it was then.

We vote one lot of self-seekers out to put another lot of self-seekers in every few years. None of them particularly represent the average person, in fact the only times they deign to get their hands dirty with the common masses is come election time.

I am against injustice where a man earning hundreds of dollars per hour tries to stop a man on minimum wage see his own wages bettered by a few bucks. The politicians always scream greed or socialism when the average guy tries to do this. No doubt slave owners said the same. Ending slavery will mean the end of society. We cannot make a profit if we have to pay people … but they did didn’t they. In fact slavery never really went away. 90% of western populations are not a lot better off than the old time slaves were. They work long hours in lousy jobs to make profits for the business owners to live the good life. Nothing has really changed too much over the centuries.

Is it any better nowadays?

My idea of ideal politics is no politics. No parties and no self-seekers. I believe we should try Sortition. This was used by the Athenians a couple of Millennia ago. The idea is that there are no parties. Our representatives would be picked by lottery. There would obviously need to be checks and balances. Jury selection actually uses Sortition and similar but more stringent rules could be put in place.

These would be my suggestions.

Representatives would be changed at different times. Say we have a representative assembly of 400. We would change 100 in year one, another hundred in year two and so on. Every four years would see a totally new house. House leaders could be voted in by the representatives every two years.

Some kind of screening would be necessary such as in jury selection. Representatives would need at least a good standard of education and no criminal record. Maybe even some kind of weighting could be applied. The simplest would be making sure equal numbers of men and women are selected.

Remuneration for representatives would be paid at the minimum working wage plus 10%. That would be an incentive to improve everybody’s lot. They could claim expenses but only of the basic kind. No paid cars, houses or first class travel. Also no private healthcare as a perk. Healthcare should be free at the point of need as should all education including university. These essentials should be an investment in society not an avoidable expense. Representative’s jobs should also be legally held open for their return.

Now wouldn’t this all be so much better than the bunch of idiots we suffer now?

Please vote in the poll.

 Oh yes I almost forgot the cute kitty pic.

Obligatory cute kitty pic.

© 2014 Stan M Rogers. All rights reserved.

INNER FEAR.

INNER FEAR.

This roiling ever present fear within

It rots my mind and my future whim

Like some sword of Damocles

Above my head

Suspended by the thinnest thread

My fear for me and for my wife

Threatens every part of my sinful life

My life, my pit

Edgars pendulum swings ever lower

Til’ steel will bite

My life will end

Maybe

As one of Alighieri’s shades

Screaming in the glooms of hell

I have this fault, I cannot tell

 

 © 2013 Stan M Rogers. All rights reserved.

A LEPRECHAUN’S DAY OUT.

Bejasus. From 2011.

Stan M Rogers

St Patrick’s Day dawned bright and sunny and I awoke with a strong urge to eat corned beef and cabbage washed down with green beer. I tickled my lovely coleen awake and bounded from my bed ready to do justice to the great day.

I arose and looked for me pipe but none was available so I had to make do with a cigarette. I couldn’t find me shilelagh either so sadly I dressed and Faffy the leprechaun was ready.I just had to be careful not to set me beard alight when I lit my fags.

Me and me lovely leprechaunette headed out the door in search of a leprechaun watering hole. We drove and Faffy saw a sign for the fair city of Dublin but his leprechaunette told him that this was the USA and the real Dublin was many miles distant beyond the end of the rainbow…

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