Veolia Environnement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A great little tale this. It actually happened a couple of months back but I have only just got around to posting.
My 75 year old aunt lives near to Manningtree Essex. Bradfield to be precise. Now her bungalow is only a 5 minute drive from civilization ie Manningtree but it is still very rural. Her local council is Tendring and her waste collection is handled by Veolia. So far so good.
She does not get provided with your usual wheelie bin but has to leave her rubbish out in ordinary bin liners. Again so far so good.
Unfortunately they cannot collect her green re-cyclable waste and suggest that she places it in paper sacks and takes it to the re-cycling centre. She explains that she does not drive.
They then offer to sell her the paper sacks and pick up her green waste for £20!
She asks what will happen to it. Will it be recycled per la waste re-cycling centre? ‘NO’ reply the council. It will apparently go to landfill with the normal rubbish?
“So why can’t she just put it in with her other rubbish?” she replies.
“Because you are not allowed to put green waste in with the normal rubbish.” reply the council.
My aunt is dumbfounded. I am amused at the typical mentality of British petty officialdom once again.
Cover via Amazon
50 Shades of Grey??
Well I did say I would read this book or more precisely the trilogy, for there are 3 books in this series. I mean which aspiring author wouldn’t like to emulate E.L James’ success and gain the Number 1, 2 and 3 spots in the world wide best seller lists. I know I would. Even with just the one title. And so I fired up my trusty Kindle and downloaded the complete series. Suitably armed I headed off to work determined to read some each day in my hour long lunch break.
I had read about the books of course and seen them on the bookshelves. I knew they were based loosely on the Twilight series but as I have never read Twilight nor seen the films I would be flying blind on that one. I also knew they had been described as chick porn and even mummy porn as initially they appealed to over 30s ladies. Hmmmm this would be interesting. Certainly this genre of writing is not one I would normally read but I decided to go ahead and read away, if possible from a neutral position.
The first two lunchtimes were OK. I read away expecting to be … well I don’t know? Excited, turned on, blinded by Ms James literary style; at the very least I expected a revelation as regards to writing as pertaining to my own style. I think I finally hit some ‘action’ on lunchtime three. The moment of BDSM was upon me and oh what a disappointment.
The style is almost one that I remember from schoolboy porn chat. Now women may find Ms James descriptions a turn on but for me and I would think to many men they are incredibly twee. A kind of ‘uncensored’ Mills & Boon. She almost gives BDSM itself a kind of warm fuzziness associated with fluffy kittens and grannies home cooking. Disappointed? I should say so.
I found the book to be repetitive and formulaic with an all-encompassing feeling of ‘been done ‘beforeness’ that left me bored and distracted by the simplest things. One lunchtime I was in fact so unimpressed that I found myself playing with the alarm settings on my watch rather than reading on.
And so by the time a week of lunchtimes had passed I gave up. My Kindle not having page numbers told me I had read 42% of 50 Shades of Grey. So I suppose I had experienced 21 of those Shades. Personally I found the whole of my experience of the book to contain just the one very lacklustre and plain Shade.
The Author E.L JAMES.
Fifty Shades better.
So to sum it up? Well if you enjoy rather infantile sexual ramblings. If you like your reading to be undisturbed by any semblance of plot or character interest then be taken in by the hype and read this book. Otherwise I suggest following in Ms Anastasia Steele’s footsteps and reading Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the D’Urbervilles instead which even without any of the sexual naiveté of 50 Shades is a thousand times more risqué and full of sexual steaminess.