Walking the flood park at twilight this evening. Such a magical time of day.
Sun setting on loves sad requiem.
Darkness falls, bitter chocolate sweet.
The moon welcomes me
With sweet symphony
Life again. Gentle life’s sweet song.
Stan M Rogers copyright © 2019
There is so much going on in my life right now. Mostly good but none that I can talk of on here, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Totally. But I am reading the first novel I wrote back in 2007. Love Sex and Time Travel. I am finding within its pages comfort and believe it or not guidance. The part I am reading now has inspired me. Matt Spears is searching his own soul in the book, much as I am now and comes to realise that his only way to peace and resolution is to chose detachment. Wise words from my 2007 doppelgänger to my 2019 self. I shall take his advice. I chose detachment.👍😀☺️
This light within me will never go out
These dreams within me, these hopes
… are eternal
For I have been there. Been in the the place that dreams die.
… where hopes fade, where lights go out
And I faced darkness alone but fought … and won
For in me? Always. The light of a sun.
Constancy and belief are within me, faith too.
In me is life.
Stan M Rogers © 2019
Darkness of a summer’s warm night, but, Stars so bright, so clear, Looking up for the moon and no it isn’t there. Not till later, not till I want it to be I think And I look back … in anger no. Anger is not in this vocabulary. Fear and loss yes in my own lexicon, emptiness even. Yeah … you know the feeling. We have been there before. You know. Between loss and sorrow? That old one way street. One track mind, as usual, as bloody usual. Yea always. Visiting lovers graves, long gone … Oh yes long gone. Disappeared long ago into an ever more black and white past And yet Still I want my moon to rise And always it does To let me grasp it in my hands, and such hands? Anonymous unfeeling hands of gold? No. And God? No gods. Naa… no one up there on the millionth floor loves me. Cos I never woke up and smelt bloody coffee, not once. Don’t need caffeine to torture my mind further. Never have Does it on its sweet lonesome. Pain without stimulus. Stimulus without pain? Yea I can live with that. Not easily. Not simply…. But alone.Sometimes.
Broken dreams litter my lonely nights.
Monstrous shadows haunt me
Breaking me, softly but surely as I try to sleep
A ghostly happiness wanders, remembered from a recent past, forever lost.
And as wakefulness invades the small hours … I weep.
My head warned my heart of certain pain
My heart ignored it, as always … my heart is my bane
It causes such sweet pain as I wander alone
Feelings lost… or stripped to bare white bone.
My tears are as nothing in this solitary world.
Dark tracks ahead, shrouded by tendrils of ghostly mist
No clues are given, no words of encouragement uttered
I wander aimlessly … I face this alone. Unknowing.
… and my head drops. I care for little right now
I return to my nightmares.
© Stan M Rogers 2018
You are the wind beneath my wings.
The reason I soar so high
Into an azure sky
You are the beat of my heart
The blood through my veins
The freshness of April rains
You are the smile on my face
The laughter I share
My soul laid bare, my reason to care.
You are the song that goes on.
Never wanting the final note
Never giving up hope.