Hoping you all had a great Christmas my friends and that Santa was most beneficent to you all.
I actually received a pot of Marmite from my baby this Christmas. It was not my only gift from her. As usual she spent far too much on me but the Marmite was certainly the most unexpected of her many gifts to me.
As you may know I am an Englishman living in Ohio and it seems that one of the things that Americans do not have nor understand is Marmite (they sadly do not have Vegemite either). Now it seems to me that the more you haven’t got something, the more you desire it. That is how it is me. Sometimes I dream of hot buttered toast spread with the deliciousness of Marmite eaten in front of a log fire preferably.
I have seen Marmite here, but only in the speciality stores and by gum do they want some wedge for it. I must admit it was getting close to the point where I would gladly have sacrificed my children for a jar so it was wonderful to find a bottle of the brown nectar in my stocking yesterday.
I have already christened my little jar enjoying some of its contents this morning with toast. I washed it down with a cup of Starbuck’s Tazo Joy tea. (another excellent prezzie from my baby).
I am looking forward to trying the brown nectar again soon with Bagels, muffins, crumpets (mysteriously known as ‘Nooks n Crannies’ to the colonials) and in any other way I can think of.
I thought I’d finish with some of the wonderful attributes of this heavenly nectar.
1) It is full of healthy vitamins such as the ‘B’ type ones. It is so healthy that people who live exclusively on Marmite and toast have been proven to live beyond 120 years of age.
2) Chuck Norris is a huge fan of Marmite and puts his superhuman strength down to eating at least one bagel a day spread with it.
3) It is a proven fact that it helps the libido. Cialis and Viagra are actually produced from Marmite.
4) It is now believed that it was spread liberally on the bagels by Jesus at the last supper.
5) The Greek word for ‘Food of the Gods’ is ambrosia. This is actually a mistranslation of Marmite.
6) Spreading lashings of Marmite over the skin is proven to cure Acne, boils, and disfiguring scars within hours.
7) It is also known to vastly improve the IQ. Einstein admits he would never have found out that E=MC squared without his daily ration of yeasty loveliness.
Anyway guys I am off for a little bit of toast with Marmitey Magic. Have a wonderful day.
PS. Does anyone know where I can get Piccalilli in the colonies?
© 2013 Stan M Rogers. All rights reserved.