Lost in time
All posts tagged Lost in time
The blood of Kings courses through these aged veins
Some say
And as I look back over time
I wonder
Twilight approaches as I sit upon this weathered cliffside
And I wonder
About you… You left me so many years ago
Barren empty years ago
You were my one, my heartbeat, the breath in my lungs
The queen of this bloodline
But you are gone
No more real or graspable than fog in morning’s early hours
I barely remember your face, but the sound of your sleeping breath beside me
Is still heard in my dreams
I bought the hawk six months after you left, as is our way
Hatched the same day that you left
Your spirit was within I believe
But that hawk left me too … many years ago.
As you did
You both stretched your silken wings and flew
One last time, but the flight was eternal
No living thing landed back upon this world
And I have fought many battles since then
Terrible enemies that would make a man tremble in fear
But I had you inside me
I did not tremble, I cut them down with no remorse for you
Scant regard for their kin, if they had any
I did not care. I did my killing job, hands red with their blood
For a Kings blood runs through my veins
And all Kings are warriors
They must be if they wish to keep their crown
For others would soon take it
But without you … it rusts
I have no use for baubles
And I am king to few people now
Most died at the enemy’s hands
But I gain satisfaction that my enemy is no more
They all died by my hand in dreadful revenge for your death.
My job is done
And now I sit alone
The cold northern wind cuts through the valley below me
I hear your voice calling my name in its whisper
Calling me to join my lost love in the gathering dark
Calling for us to be together again.
And so I stand … I walk to the cliff edge
I call your name one last time from mortal lungs
One last step
And I join you in the wind.
Copyright. Stan M Rogers 2017
I Gave It Away.
Yes. I hurt
You hurt me
And you enjoyed my pain.
It really gave you joy
Didn’t it.
Sit on a bar step
Watching cars drive by
Red lights at the stop sign
Voices in the night walking by
As I drain one to many beers
In this hot night
The smell of food cooking … nearby
A couple walk by. Talking loudly
I smile. Sense their feelings
His anger… her resentment
As their raised voices pass away into the distance
Strangely I can still hear her heels on the cracked sidewalk
Long after their voices die
Did I learn? Yes I did.
Damn. I learned well
Another cigarette. Another contemptuous sigh
Time for whisky. And remembrance
Knowing I won’t find my way home tonight
The hot night stifles me. My mind. My thoughts
Wish it would rain
And wash this part of town clean
But it won’t and the sweat runs down my back
Soaked shirt.
It’s painful to rise. To enter the loveless bar.
My place. My hell. My penance.
Music playing from within.
Wrenching my heart from my chest
But I can only smile
And order whisky
Throw cash over the bar
Sit down in a bulbless corner
Relishing the dark. Comfortable in shadow
I only need the courage to say Yes I can do this and the strength to say No I am not afraid.
But I fail myself
I feel myself in ruins
Tears won’t come
Just shaking. The pain of numbness
No answers to questions asked
Just dumbness
Loss of my own mind
And respect? Ha. No
I didn’t lose it. I gave it away …
© 2010 Stan Rogers
Stan M Rogers 