And then, right then in that cold bright moment
The sadness hits.
Spirits drop, tears well up, I choke them back
I choke them back. My world turns black.
Colours fade to grey
All happiness blows away
Oh cold bitter wind.
Don’t blow it away
Let my happiness stay.
But I can’t win.
Stealthily my smile disappears
Yet again. Remorseless. Bitter tears.
All gone now. I’m empty
My heart beats fast like a demented drum
Oh that empty vessel that is my heart.
That loathsome brain,
Just full of my self created pain.
Go away … go away. Leave. Go away.